Beatings for One Person Each

Painting by William Blake
Basil baulked at bulk-bashing
Preferring to inflict higher quality beatings
On fewer victims

Bernadette broke a sweat placing bets
Her bibliophilous solution-toed calculi
At longer odds and shorter jockeys

David the pecs was tortured to death slowly
His bibulous problem-head unwhole he
Glugged a bevvy of big-bosomed babes

Unsolved on ebay, watch: onsold
To unrealtor Esmeralda Glutz
Unreal water but no crusts in all her dusty huts

Horace harangued officials of various stripes
Boring skulls with diamond-tipped gripes
Der das die daschund’s resurrection leash unholy

Barking mad no hound is found unsound
Low-slung and very near unto the ground
Imparts a Paul or even all quite wholly

Eponymously diminutivized Russ
Squander-wondered what the fuss
Was all about to whit who bought a bit of butter
But a better bit of butter bought
At Betty’s Butter Barn last Sunday morn
By he who wouldn’t wander-ponder
What the frick was going on
Watneys messiah crawls upon at dawn
What rough beast that slouches towards Bethlehem
First crouches in the bushes to be born.