Ninja-boy and the clouds

In the dead of the day the ninja crept like a wounded hyena toward its prey. No clouds crossed the sky; the ninja wondered why. He had always wondered where the clouds go to die: a practice that had cost him dear over the years. The times, for instance, when as a boy he had turned to his father and plaintively enquired, "Oh where do the clouds go to die, daddy-san?" only to receive a swift box about the earhole, and the stern rebuke, "What the crap are you bleating now, shit-fer-brains? Jus' eat your rice and shut the fuck up!"

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Many many tickle a parson

The Hand-Writing upon the Wall (1803), James Gillray's caricature of Napoleon as Belshazzar, King of Babylon. Napoleon, Josephine, French soldiers and women are at the feast-table. Napoleon looks in horror at Jehovah pointing to words in the sky. In the Biblical story, on a wall in Belshazzar's palace god's hand writes the message: mene, mene, tekel, upharsin. Daniel interprets for the King: "God has numbered the days of your kingdom and brought it to an end. You have been weighed and found wanting. The kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians." In 539 BCE the Persian conqueror Cyrus the Great invades Babylon.

In Babylon flowed the rivers of wine
'Til one fateful day god wrote up a sign

The anger of god was writ on a wall
But Belshazzar didn't get it at all

The King's main pursuits were eating and drinking
But the words on the wall really got him to thinking

He couldn't make sense of what god had in mind
So turning to Daniel said “please be so kind

as to look at that writing and try and explain
the words on the wall that are hurting my brain”

Now Daniel was sober, he had a clear head
He knew what to say and here's what he said:

“The finger that writes having writ then moves on
Here come the Medes and the Persians: you're gone!

”God's taken your measure, and weighed and divided
Regarding your fate, it's all been decided

“He's run out of patience, he really can't wait
He's given your kingdom to Cyrus the Great

“So don't ask a priest or even a parson
Too mene mene and tekel upharsin

“For as it is written and so shall it be
Jehovah is jealous and wrathful you see

“He'll smite you and bite you and strike without warning
So swallow ten tablets and call in the morning!”

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Not published in AWAREWOLF and Other Chrymes Against Humanity for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.

Technique for managing anger

As a person who has carried a heavy burden of anger for most of his life, I have found the following three-stage technique for controlling anger effective and useful. The technique (thought, word, deed) is based on the yoga of visualisation and affirmation.

Stage 1, Thought. Take a long, slow, deep breath and while you are doing that visualise these words scrolling across a screen in front of your mind's eye:

Thank you XYZ* for helping me understand that there is no requirement for me to feel anger, and that if I wish I can extinguish my anger. I reach deep into myself. I gently and lovingly take hold of my red, boiling ball of anger, bitterness, resentment, frustration...

Visualise the hot, red, glowing ball of anger deep inside yourself. Inside the ball is your angry self, your mouth wide open, shouting, screaming in rage, fists beating furiously against the inside of the ball. Visualise your hands gently taking hold of the ball. Now start exhaling, long and slow, while you continue visualising the words and the images described by the words.)

The Riddler

Audio composed and performed by SRS

The Riddlee asked the Riddler,
"Oh won't you riddle me?
that I may pass from hence to thence
upon the Count of Three?"

"Just one riddle," the Riddlee said,
"no less nor even more
that I may move along the groove
that leads to the Earl of Four."

Quoth the Riddler to the Riddlee
“A riddle I’ll contrive
that you may travel across this gravel
towards the Duke of Five.”

“For Fuck’s sake,” quoth the Riddlee
“Quit your stupid tricks
time is fleeting; I’m late for my meeting
with the Marquis at Six!”

The Riddler grinned an evil grin
and counted to eleven
but all four nought: he stopped three short
upon Viscount of Seven.

The Riddlee pondered for a while
then said “I’ll tell you straight:
just add one, now I must run
to meet the Baron Eight.”